#ooh this is fun to try and figure out. it's like I'm playing my own ace attorney case lol

[marshmallowloves]

Oh you hate canonically strongly hinted at ships and say "there's nothing" because you're a complete retard who thinks you can date a fictional character who isn't real lmao. Classic. Please wake up to reality sometime kiddo <3

buddy this is a selfshipping blog I started almost six years ago. if you're gonna come to the circus and complain that there's a clown here then you're a little late to the party I think

[herearedragons]

Ooh tell me more about Aqun!

Heck yes I will! and the tumblr app refreshing and deleting everything I wrote before cannot stop me

Aqun is my archer/artificer rogue Adaar who is actually a human/Qunari half-blood, born to a human engineer and a Tal-Vashoth she once saved from a dreadnought wreck (which is a story of its own).

He had a pretty secluded upbringing, living with just his parents (and some animals) in a cottage outside of Ostwick, with their nearest neighbors being a Dalish clan that would camp about an hour away from their house every spring (which is why the house was initially abandoned and Mom Adaar was able to buy it basically for nothing way before she had a husband and a child. unlike the previous owners, she managed to get along with the clan just fine). He was homeschooled by his mom, and didn't really have any friends his age except for the Dalish kids he'd play with every now and then.

He joined the Valo-Kas when he was about 20 and freshly rejected from more or less every place of work/study he'd applied to in Ostwick because, despite him being a pretty good artificer and having internalized most of his mom's engineering degree, no one was quite ready to take in a half-Vashoth. The Valo-Kas happened to be looking for traps and explosives, and Aqun has never really dealt with those before, but it was an opportunity and really how hard can it be to figure out. He took the job and hit the books; fast forward ten years and he's a full-time member of the Valo-Kas and one of their main demolition guys.

Vibes/themes-wise, he's the kind of guy who's never given up on a problem (often to his own detriment). He's also A Professional, A Perfectionist and A Goddamn Nerd. He wants to know everything and to fix everything, and his worldview is this weird mix of practicality and almost a romantic approach to things. His specialization these days is mostly "machines and chemicals that help you destroy things good", but he is also very invested in the idea of building things that help people. He also grew up with his dad's stories of the Tal-Vashoth Rage, which messed him up a little because now he's scared of his own emotions and works really hard to control his temper.

Also, this is him:

(this is already pretty long, but I'm going to put more thoughts under the cut because I've been given an excuse for an Aqun Ramble and I'm taking it)

easily fascinated with morbid magical things like red lyrium and the Blight, and at least part of it is him kind of wanting to try to fix the unfixable. he gets REALLY into trying to figure out an efficient way to destroy/neutralize red lyrium, and into trying to help Emprise du Lion recover

the Anchor is really bad for him for two reasons: the first is that he needs two functioning hands to build things and shoot things, and building and shooting is who he IS. the second is that the flare-ups make him very irritable, which is bad for his Qunari Rage Issues because every time he catches himself getting uncontrollably angry he's scared that he's going to hurt someone

loss/grief is a big part of his arc; losing so many Valo-Kas members both before and during the events of DAI hits him pretty hard, and he barely has time to process it with everything else that's happening

fully commits to being Inquisitor; he becomes the title. he thinks about how he's perceived and tries to consider the ramifications of his actions in the long run; he also starts several research/restoration projects using the Inqusition's resources. he's been given Power and, like with everything else, he tries his best to Understand It and figure out how to apply it correctly (he does believe there is a "correctly" here)

when I say that he's a nerd I mean that he carries a field journal full of Research and as long as circumstances allow he'll stop and study every new fun thing the party comes across. also his party members. also the Anchor. he will truly take notes on anything (he's the most interested in how things can be Useful, though)

the thing about making him romance Solas is that Aqun is the guy trying to fix the world and Solas is ALSO the guy trying to fix the world, so there's recognition and eventually respect and admiration, but also Solas WILL have to break every single thing Aqun has built to succeed in his plans, and Aqun WILL burn through every resource at his disposal, including himself, before he lets that happen.

it's also about Aqun being the Wants To Know Everything Guy and Solas being the Pwease Ask Me Questions Guy

it's also about Aqun casually going "when I was a kid the Dalish children I played with always asked me to be Fen'Harel in our games because I looked the scariest" and Solas taking psychic damage just from hearing that

it's also about Aqun being in love with the waking world the same way Solas is in love with the Fade and both of them being in love with each other's fascination with how Their World works

there are more fun parallels but that's the gist of it

also, here are the Adaar parents. look at them. my emotional support old people power couple

[nemaliwrites]

is nemali playing this... top five things or types of things that inspire your writing...

omg..sunny in my inbox......i feel like i've gone fishing and caught a mystical sea creature in my net

ooh fun question! let's see.....

my friends! my mutuals! my brothers in arms (fandom)! i love seeing the people around me be creative, and seeing them play in the same sandbox as me fires up my own creativity in a way that nothing else seems to do! love seeing my friends have fun! reminds me that i can have fun with my work too!

books! i love words. love to chew on them like a pack of gum. and all of the AUs i've written abt my favorite books (and the thousand more in my ideas file) is proof of that i think hehe. i love returning to books when i'm feeling particularly blocked (like.....recently :///). seeing people play with words and language and character and plot makes my brain go !!! you can do that too!

movies! i am a strange bean who prefers movies to tv shows - partly because i hate when a show i like goes in a direction i dislike. and also movies are so analogous to books in a way i really enjoy. there's something really satisfying about just getting hit with a single story in one sitting. characters that you follow for a bit, and then can part ways with. it helps with pacing, and also i think a lot of movies have the room to be experimental in a way tv shows don't usually. goes back to that one thing i talked about that one time with telling the same story in different mediums. there's a lot of techniques that work in visual media but not in written - super fascinating to me to try and understand why that is.

poems! returning to language at its most artistic. divorcing it from all the other aspects of storytelling and understanding the musicality of it! i need to read more poetry......

songs! this one is low on the list bc i do have a lot of ideas inspired by songs, but i haven't quite yet figured out how to convert those into writing. mostly they're just..vibes sitting there in my doc taunting me. haunting me. really, what is the difference?

thank you for the ask sunny i lov u!!!

[the-lincyclopedia]

41, 58, 69!

41. last person you texted?

My partner's mom, actually! Yesterday I texted her a picture of a Frida Kahlo notebook I got recently, since she's a Frida Kahlo fan, and she wrote me back today and I just responded. This is the first time in my life I've felt anywhere close to having in-laws, and I feel like I'm getting a good grade in being her kid's partner, something that is normal to want and possible to achieve.

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

Ooh, you're gonna make me be proud of myself? Okay, here we go.

1) To paraphrase something one of my coworkers said about me yesterday, I am the Chicago Manual of Style incarnate. I know all the grammar and punctuation rules you could possibly want to know. I am a damn good copy editor, and I'm also pretty fast at it.

2) I'm really good at what I call "abstracting properly"--that is, I'm good at figuring out what the relevant principles at play in a situation are, and from there how to ask questions that get at the different things to consider when trying to figure out right and wrong in a particular circumstance.

To take a recent example, I responded to a post about the US Supreme Court and wrote about how "there's a fundamental tension--competing goods, I'd say--between being able to articulate, point to, share, and agree on the details of a specific set of principles, on the one hand, and adapting to the times, on the other hand." I am good at looking at problems that way, basically in real time.

3) I'm really good at being organized. It just comes naturally to me. I love sorting things (it's the autism), and I love knowing where things are and being able to find them quickly. I tag so consistently that I can find almost any post from my blog from the past few years in a matter of minutes. My Google Drive is an intricate system with layers upon layers of sub-folders. In physical space I'm a little bit messier, but I still know where almost all my stuff is.

4) I'm pretty good at language learning. I think I overstate this talent to myself sometimes, and then I run into an unfamiliar language and get frustrated when I'm not immediately fluent, but I am significantly better at language learning than average. At [location redacted], I was the only kid anyone in my cohort could remember who was placed in the highest Swedish class their first year in the program.

Meanwhile, in school, I took Spanish one in seventh grade, Spanish two in eighth grade, Spanish three freshman year, skipped Spanish four, took Spanish five sophomore year, and was one of three kids in the whole (2000+ student) school taking Spanish six my junior year. I got a five out of five on the AP Spanish test my sophomore year of high school, and my senior year of high school I got a seven out of seven on the IB Spanish B Higher Level exam and a six out of seven on the IB Swedish B Standard Level exam. Like, I know people who are better at languages than I am, and you're probably one of them, but my results are definitely better than average.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

This is such a good question, but I'm completely blanking! I feel like I try to keep track of where I get my information, even if sometimes it's as fuzzy as just knowing that I heard the thing on Tumblr. Occasionally I meet people who can cite the exact sources of their knowledge (like, full name of the author of the book or article they read something in), and I can't usually do that, but I try to avoid thinking I know things when I have no source.

When I was in school, I definitely enjoyed citing sources from outside the syllabus in my papers--usually books I'd read for previous classes or articles I'd run across on my own. Which was definitely made easier by the fact that I tend to remember where I learned things.

Get in on the ask game!

[marypsue]

what has griffin mcelroy taught you about the dreaded middle of a story, if you don't mind me asking? i've listened to taz and i feel like i have the barest memories of this being mentioned, but for the life of me i can't remember the details

So I have to apologise, because it wasn't something that he said directly or a piece of advice that he gave, exactly. And I don't know that I can say that everything about what I learned came directly through TAZ Balance, or if TAZ Balance was just a lens through which I could finally see and understand some things that had been building up for some time before that.

BUT.

For the longest time, I had a bad habit of getting hung up in the middle part of any story I was working on. I had a vague sense that Something had to happen between the inciting incident and all the 'ooh, what's going on?!' of the first third, and the big reveals and explosions and fanfare of the final third. But I had absolutely no idea how to map out what actually had to...happen, in that middle third. So I mostly just...didn't.

This, as you may have realised, is an excellent way to get hopelessly lost and mired in the Dreaded Middle, and never make it to that fun exciting ending that you have in mind.

I'm not sure why it was TAZ Balance that unlocked something for me. Whether it was the fact that I was listening to Griffin's Baby's First Long-Form Narrative unfold as it was written, or if it was the collaborative TTRPG format, or what. But there were two important things that I figured out about the Dreaded Middle as a result of listening to TAZ Balance.

First, that I had some secret rules about the Dreaded Middle, that even I hadn't realised I had. One of those rules was also a misconception about outlining - I felt like I had to know exactly how everything in the Dreaded Middle was going to go, how it was all going to play out, before I could write it. I felt like I couldn't put a problem in front of my characters that I didn't already know the solution to.

But listening to some of the big TAZ moments - the train crash in Rockport Express, Hands Outstretched - and The The Adventure Zone Zones about them, and realising that Griffin set up an interesting problem and then let his players figure out the solution, and that sometimes the solution they came up with was not the solution he'd had in mind, but actually ended up making the story better, really illuminated it for me. I didn't have to be all things to my story at all times. I could break it down - come up with a fun and interesting problem to put in front of my characters, and then come at it from the perspective of my characters and try to figure out how to solve that problem and get to the next big interesting thing to happen in the story.

(Jettisoning this secret rule has also really helped me embrace outlining, which has helped me improve hundredsfold as a writer. With my previous secret rule in place, of course outlining felt boring and soul-draining and like it sucked all the fun and spontaneity out of writing! Because it did! Because I was trying to plan out every single little moment, down to the last detail, in chronological order, instead of figuring out what my big problems were going to be first, and then going through and brainstorming what possible solutions there could be to them and what I would need to add to or remove from the story to allow each solution to work!)

The second thing that I learned from TAZ Balance was that I was thinking of a story in three parts: beginning, middle, and end. And I had a sense of The Middle as a place where stuff had to happen in between The Beginning and The End, so that the story would be long enough to feel satisfying. But somewhere in the back of my mind, I had this sense of The Middle as...well, basically filler.

I cannot put my finger on why, exactly, TAZ Balance was the thing that broke me out of that mindset. Maybe it had something to do with how each individual story arc was, well, its own story with rising action and a climax within the larger, overarching story? Maybe it was just that everything that happened was so much fun, even if it didn't necessarily feel...connected to the larger, overarching story in a way that was easy and natural to parse? Maybe it was the fact that Griffin threw everything and the kitchen sink, genre-wise, at it? I don't know.

But for some reason, listening to that show was the first time I really got that the Dreaded Middle was not really a separate, discrete, modular piece of story, but just...the beginning and the ending running into each other. Yeah, it has its own fun problems - and they can get weird and apparently unrelated to the Big Overarching Story! - but it also is just the place where all the 'ooh, what's going on!?' of the first third flows almost invisibly into the reveals and explosions and fanfare of the final third.

I had a secret rule here, too, about how long the story had to go on before certain types of big reveals and dramatic moments could be 'allowed'. And, while I didn't identify it and jettison it immediately after finishing TAZ Balance, I know that TAZ Balance contributed. No part of the Dreaded Middle needs to be filler. Stuff can just happen. This isn't Disneyland, you don't have to hang around waiting for your FastPass time. The story doesn't have to have boring stuff you have to get through to get to the interesting bits. The interesting bits are the story.

So! In a nutshell, that is my advice for dealing with the Dreaded Middle, thanks to Griffin McElroy and the shenanigans of his family. 1) You don't need to know the solution when you come up with the problem, that's what the writing part's for, and 2) if you're getting bored and bogged down in the Dreaded Middle, make one of the things you're looking forward to happen.

[librathefangirl]

9, 10 and 17 for your fic wrapped pls 🥺❤️

My pleasure! Here you go 💜

9. Favorite pairing you wrote for this year?

Okay, so romantically speaking, this year I've only posted fics for Melizabeth in different constellations - Elizabeth/Meliodas, Goddess Elizabeth/Meliodas, Elizabeth Liones/Meliodas, and Liz/Meliodas. Out of those four, Goddess Elizabeth/Meliodas was the most fun to write. I just really enjoy exploring that era and that pairing to be honest. I mean, enemies-to-lovers in a holy war whose love story was so revolutionary that the gods decided to kill their own heirs?

Liz/Meliodas takes second place because Liz and the Danafor era deserves some more love - but I've only written one fic with Liz and it wasn't that much focus on her/her relationship with Mel in that one.

But if we're talking pairing as in two people with any kind of relationship (romantic, platonic, whatever) then it's hands down Meliodas & Zeldris. I mean, it's the demon bros, do I need to say more? I am, personally, a huge sucker for siblingship of any kind in media. (Maybe because I have a lot of siblings myself? Maybe because my aroace self feel a bigger connection to those relationships even tho I really enjoy romantic ones too). Plus, there is so much fun dynamics to explore with these two; Mel and Zel's childhood, the betrayal, reconciling after everything, or other stuff completely (<- I'm actually low-key working on an au where Mel and Zel are goddesses and Ellie is a demon and it's been really interesting to figure out the brothers' dynamic without the canon betrayal, also they're twins in that one fyi).

10. What work was the quickest to write?

Ooh now that's an interesting question. Let's see... The fastest ones were probably all written in February to be honest, because that was my most productive writing month (I was also doing Febuwhump which added pressure and motivation to complete the fics quick lol).

There All Along was probably the one I finished the quickest. It was written in February, within a day, and also one of my shortest fics.

My Love, It Burns was probably the quickest longer/multichapter fic I wrote this year. It was written during the end of February, also within a day I think, and, well, inspiration just struck. I had a clear idea of what I wanted to write, and was excited to try writing two different endings to the same fic. (Plus I wanted to write the endings close together so they matched up well).

But also telling how quick a fic is to write is hard lol usually I write down the idea and maybe even make the document but then don't actually work on it until days/weeks/months later...

17. Your favorite character to write this year?

This is actually a difficult question. Because while I do love writing about Meliodas (he's my blorbo, my baby - the only fic out out 25 that he wasn't tagged as a character still had him featured in the background and as a "topic"). But I also feel like I tend to write other characters' pov more than his (possibly because he's mostly the one getting whumped lol). So Meliodas is a character I like to write stories of, but if were talking point of view and all, I liked writing Merlin and what's-his-face... Gavin!

Merlin is actually a character I find hard to write (but hey it can be a fun challenge) but also fun to write. I especially love how she can be like a bridge of knowledge between what the other characters know of Meliodas/demons and the truth (that she knows). Writing from Merlin's pov also allows me to really tap into the age and history of Meliodas and her :)

Gavin (my oc from One Man's Beast, aka the Monster Sins AU) was fun to write because to be honest outsider's pov is really funny when the Seven Deadly Sins are involved (the chaos! lol). Also it allowed me to explore the AU in a better way. (<- speaking of, I'm playing around a bit with the outsider's pov in my next Monster Sins AU fic too, because a part of that one is from Dreyfus and/or Hendy's pov)

Anyway! ao3 wrapped (ask game) <- if anyone wanna send me more questions :)

[sithwitch13]

AEW Collision/Battle of the Belts 7/27/24

Starting with Orange in medium denim and black shirt

Lol the clips from the Adult Swim show

For fuck's sake, AEW sound folk, you've been in the same building for a week, I'm begging you to do better

WILLOW SAVING HER FRIEND

I adore Willow running in to save the day. She's so fun.

Claudio and Yuta! I've missed the crab dance so much.

Hell yeah Moriarty! Also, why is Brian Cage there? Just ambient grudges?

Top Flight adorable as always.

Dead at Moriarty's trying to call a time out

Aww I saw that smile, Orange

Kyle's face journeys are my favorite thing

WAIT KYLE CARING FOR THE BELT LIKE A BABY IS MY FAVORITE THING

Digging Hologram so far

Also, really liking Mortos. Wondering who made his mask.

Did Nigel just call hum "Beef Mortos"?

There's a bit of Tron: Legacy in Hologram's theme (and general look)

Thunder Rosa with the Wolverine gear. I guess you kind of have to this weekend.

(Brian Cage doesn't count, he always does Wolverine gear)

Lance Archer has been too long without enrichment and is exhibiting behavioral problems

CONGLOMERATION LET'S GO

The Conglomeration may be the most adorable faction. Just folks having fun.

I want to see them do a group activity like going to a carnival or a nature walk

"You're just jealous because you haven't passed the bar!"

I feel like the pinkie phalanges are objectively the most comical bone to break (don't come for me with your "what about the humerus?" bullshit, my mom has inured me to that joke)

(My mom's humerus popped through her skin when she was hit by a car as a kid, so whenever she mentions it she goes, "IT WAS MY HUMERUS BUT IT WASN'T VERY FUNNY TO ME")

MxM, I am begging you to shake these two into doing something silly and fun

Continuity: Mansoor can't stand baldness

I get the intent of this match, showing that MxM can hold their own instead of just being a comedy act, and I think it's doing a good job of that

I've always liked Bowens but he's absolutely on another level now. He needs a singles run like now.

PAC VS LIO RUSH TIME

Love that "slam here" sign getting played with

Battle of the Belts time!

Ooh, starting with Toni vs Taya

I'm trying to figure out what Toni's current look is inspired by. It feels so familiar.

God I love Toni

"You were perfect." I adore every second of this

KIP

I desperately need a continuation of the Kip/Orange storyline

Hell yes Willow! Part of me wants one of the Conglomeration to accompany her, but I do think she seems stronger coming out on her own.

DEONNA. Still not over her.

Oh shit, Taya here with the turnbuckle

"What else could she be doing with that turnbuckle?" "YOGA!"

Ooh, Thunder Rosa vs Taya in the future, yes

Just for RoH? Aren't the Trios belts unified? Or was it just wishful thinking?

SHIBATA IS DOING THE CLAW

I still wish it was Dark Order, but this got a smile out of me

Aww, the in-ring celebration. Good for them

[babacontainsmultitudes]

Taylor Playlist :]

Cause if you haven't noticed I've been a bit fixated on my little guy recently and I meant to share this one forever ago anyways. I'll be real, I really didn't bother to figure out the song order for this one.

Track list below the cut + annotations and relevant lyrics :)

(slightly long post you've been warned!)

>> Here you go bestie <<

Seeya (by deadmau5 feat. Colleen D'Agostino)

“Don't wake me up, I'm winning wars inside my head

And maybe I'm weak, but not beneath the covers of this bed

Asleep, I'm undefeated in this world of mine

So, let me stay inside this dream and keep me from the light

(…)

I've built this place, behind my eyes, you'll never see

And you can move my body, but please keep my mind asleep

Beyond the galaxies, where there's no space or time

I will transform, I am reborn to rule over the skies

(…)

Escape the world I know, it's all in my control

I, I just wanna stay this way

(…)

Don't try to save me when my mind is finally free

'Cause I'd rather run my own world, than face your reality”

The Main Character (by Will Wood)

I don’t think I have to explain this one.

World Is Mine (by Hatsune Miku)

Lol

Life Is Fun (by Boyinaband feat. TheOdd1sOut)

Well this one for me is basically an interaction between Taylor and Scary haha.

Cloudbusting (by Kate Bush)

Largely about Nicky! But in a way that is like… From Taylor’s perspective? Maybe also the reverse. A bit hard to explain exactly but maybe I’ll just share what sticks out to me and you can come to your own conclusions.

“You're like my yo-yo

That glowed in the dark

What made it special

Made it dangerous

So I bury it

And forget

(…)

On top of the world, looking over the edge

You could see them coming

You looked too small

In their big black car

To be a threat to the men in power

(…)

I hid my yo-yo

In the garden

I can't hide you

From the government

Oh, God, Daddy

I won't forget

(…)

And every time it rains

You're here in my head

Like the sun coming out

Look, your son's coming out

Ooh, I just know that something good is going to happen

I don't know when

But just saying it could even make it happen, oh

Ooh, just saying it could even make it happen”

Chosen (by The Living Tombstone)

Hm how to put this… It’s like, one part “Taylor seeing himself as some kind of chosen one”, one part “Taylor unlocking his inner demon” and one part “Taylor being along for the ride- potentially at his own expense/risk”

“A mind without a home

Leaving behind, the comfort that I've known

Where do I roam? A stranger to myself

Born to be here, but living somewhere else

And I'm searching for the reasons I've been

Chosen by a force beyond control

Beyond remorse and I don't know

If I will make it through this

Losing who I am

(…)

Losing everything I called "human"

Free will is miles away

I heard you play

In the digital cabaret

But I'm okay

I won't disobey

If you take me by the hand and make me

Chosen by a force beyond control

I'll play a part, you'll make me whole

You'll be my voice, I'll be your soul

You'll take my choice and I don't know

How you will make me new but

This is who I am”

Open Up Your Eyes (by Tempest Shadow)

Like this could have gone in a Nicky playlist cause this is literally just Nicky talking to Taylor and warning him of betrayal but it’s a MLP song so ultimately Taylor won out lol. Also someone please make an animatic of this I want it so so bad.

“It's time you learned a lesson

It's time that you understand

Don't ever count on anybody else

In this or any other land

(…)

I once hoped for friendship

To find a place among my kind

But those were the childish wishes

Of someone who was blind

Open up your eyes

(…)

Give up your sweet fantasyland

It's time to grow up and get wise

Come now little one

Open up your eyes

(…)

We all start out the same

With simple naïve trust

Shielded from the many ways

That life's not fair or just

(…)

But then there comes a moment

A simple truth that you must face

If you depend on others

You'll never find your place

(…)

And as you take that first step

Upon a path that's all your own

You see it all so clearly

The best way to survive is all alone”

Pretty Little Head (by Eliza Rickman)

It’s mostly:

“Boy, where's your mother? Fall down dead

Dirty mind, dirty mouth, pretty little head

I wish you were here, I wish you'd make my bed

Dirty mind, dirty mouth, pretty little head”

Mama (My Chemical Romance)

Heheh.

“Mama, we all go to Hell

I'm writing this letter and wishing you well

Mama, we all go to Hell

Oh well, now, Mama, we're all gonna die

Mama, we're all gonna die

Stop asking me questions, I'd hate to see you cry

Mama, we're all gonna die”

In light of recent episodes maybe even

“Mama, we all go to Hell

It's really quite pleasant except for the smell

Mama, we all go to Hell”

Takes on a funny little meaning now.

Holding Out For A Hero (by Frou Frou cause I really like this cover)

Partially an antihero goof, but there’s also a bunch of lyrics that are funny/interesting to me if you remove the intended context and think about Nicky instead. Perhaps especially:

“Up where the mountains meet the heavens above

Out where the lightning splits the sea

I could swear there is someone somewhere watching me

Through the wind and the chill and the rain

And the storm and the flood

I can feel his approach like a fire in my blood”

Heads Will Roll – A-Track Remix (by Yeah Yeah Yeahs)

Because it makes me laugh and I couldn’t resist.

Special (by Shinedown)

“Stop waitin' on your fifteen minutes of fame, 'cause you're not special

I'm not tryin' to rain on your parade, but you're not special

I'm not tryin' to bring you down, I'm not tryin' to sound so ineffectual

But you're not special

(…)

We all live to love, we all fall apart

We'd all go to war for the faint of heart

Instead we're condescending

There are no happy endings

I won't hold my breath, I won't cast a doubt

I'd never sell you out

But I'll give you one last chance to own it

'Cause you're not a god or a poet, so...

(…)

Stop waitin' on your fifteen minutes of fame, 'cause you're not special

I'm not tryin' to rain on your parade, but you're not special

I'm not tryin' to bring you down, I'm not tryin' to sound so ineffectual

But you're not special”

^ Anthony probably lol.

:) Okay that's it thank you for entertaining this besties!

[annaphoenix1994]

Ch.16 - No Stone Unturned

Previous Chapter - Masterlist - Next Chapter

Kiera and Simon share their first kiss before Thanksgiving dinner; Laswell reaches out.

Thanksgiving, 2022

Simon was nervous as the clock was ticking closer and closer to dinner time. He had met her mother and father already as well as having military conversations with her father. Unlike his own, he enjoyed her father's company as her entire family made him feel welcome, not one member prying about what his status was with their daughter. 

He had been spending a lot of his time on the back patio of Kiera's home, admiring the view as if it were something new every morning. As if he saw something new on those snowcapped mountains, he was admirable of them. Snow had begun to fall, forcing Simon to retreat back into the house after a strong gust of wind. Smelling sweet potatoes, he followed the smell like a hungry dog. 

She cooked amazingly as their time together grew stronger throughout the days over dinner. He hadn't eaten that well in years. Aside from their morning coffee routine, they hadn't slept in the same bed since Kiera's drunken stupor at the bar days prior. 

But that didn't mean that he didn't crave it - he thought about it every time he laid his head down on the pillow at night. 

He leaned against the doorframe that led into the kitchen, watching her bend over towards the oven as she opened it, removing the pan of sweet potato casserole and setting it on top of the stove, singing along to Tyler Childers' live version of Bottles and Bibles as she opened the bag of jumbo marshmallows to put on top of the casserole. 

"Bottles and bibles litter the floor; All night revival passed out around four-" She sang, turning around to take a sip from her short glass of whiskey before Simon's presence made her gasp. "Fucking Christ, Simon!" 

"I'm sorry, love," He breathed a chuckle. "I didn't mean to scare you. Figured you knew when someone was within a hundred feet of you." 

"I don't have eyes in the back of my fuckin' head." She scoffed. 

"That much is obvious." 

She rolled her eyes playfully, turning her head before she could give him the satisfaction of making her smile. "Since you're in the kitchen, you can come and help me." 

"Yes, Officer." He snickered. 

"Thanks, Chief." She retorted, knowing his power of authority would be nothing more than complicated by addressing him by a different title. 

"Lieutenant." He arched a brow, stepping closer to her as if he were trying to be intimidating. 

It wasn't working. 

He watched her brows twitch, backing up against the counter. He watched her smirk before she threw a handful of flour on his chest, a light powder residue clinging to his black shirt. "Oh, you've had it now." He breathed a laugh. 

"Ooh, I'm so intimidated by you, Chief-"

She shrieked, laughing uncontrollably as Simon grasped her wrist with light pressure, but enough to keep her wrist from pulling away from him as he pulled her away from the counter to grab the container of flour. Oh, Simon got even when it came to jokes. "Simon! I need to put the marshmallows on the casserole!"

"Fuck the casserole!" He chuckled. 

"I'll embarrass you!" She giggled, threatening to attempt to restrain him, even though she had sworn to herself to keep her military and martial arts skills for on-duty work, not at home. 

"I'd like to see you try, love. I need to get a workout in." 

She scoffed, using her foot to try to knock him behind his foot in a pathetic attempt to move his weight. He was too strong, but they both knew they kept their true power at bay. After all, this was all fun and play. He held the bag of flour over her head like he was going to pour it on her, smirking at how she was begging for him not to, even though she started it. "Simon! No! No, no!" She squealed as he poured the flour on top of her head. "I swear to God, Simon!" 

"Keep swearing all you like, sweetheart, but God isn't going to save you right now." 

Make It Out Alive by Tanner Usrey was playing on her shuffled playlist from her phone on the counter. It was slowly becoming one of Kiera's favorite songs, but she was too distracted to listen to the lyrics that she loved singing. 

Oh, but Simon heard every word. 

"Oh my darlin', tell me you love me; That you'll never walk away; 'Cause you know I love you with a burning fire; And I'll love you til my dyin' days." 

She slumped onto her back on the floor, catching her breath after an intense laughing fit as Simon stood over her, shaking his head as she looked like pre-kneaded dough. "Let me go get the rolling pin." He poked. 

"While you're at it, get me my vape." 

"I don't think so." 

"Fine, I'll get it myself." She pouted, attempting to stand on her feet before her sock caused her to slide on the flour against the wood floor, taking Simon down with her as he tried to catch her to keep the thud from sounding so harsh. 

He fell on his side close to her, feeling the vibrations from her laugh through the floor as he too couldn't help but laugh. He didn't fall often, but when he did, it was either from the top of a wall or stepping into a hidden hole in the ground. "Oh my God, are you okay?" She asked, seeing him propped up on his elbow as he looked up to the ceiling, the flour that was disturbed after it had settled now caked onto his shirt and pants. He was sure his black socks were now white, but he was slowly getting to the point where he didn't care. 

"I'm fine." He chuckled, looking over at her. She's so fucking enticing, He thought. If you don't stop looking at me with that pretty gleam in your eye, I won't be able to stop myself.

"Here, I owe it to ya - I'll help you up this time." She giggled. 

"No," He breathed. "Not yet." 

"Why? You hurting? Getting old?" She poked. 

"No." 

"Then what is it?" 

She knew exactly what it was. She just wanted to hear him say it. 

He adjusted his weight on his elbow to where he was almost leaning over her, his free hand slowly and hesitantly coming up to wipe the flour from her cheek before swiping a small area away from her lips. Bloody fucking hell. 

Her eyes flicked away from his sharp gaze briefly, trying to find the confidence in herself to accept it, not wanting to believe it was actually happening.

"When the winter is cold, I'll be your fire; Wrap you up with a burning desire; The wind, it howls, no end in sight; Take my hand and hold on tight..." 

She felt his hot breath coming closer and closer to her lips. She leaned towards him, closing the gap between them as her hand came up to grasp at his wrist as that same hand cupped her face, lacing her fingers between his as their lips locked. This feels so perfect, she hummed to herself, feeling the end of his fingers curl into her hairline as if he were keeping her there. Her free hand snaked around his shoulder, stopping at the base of his neck, she too curling her fingers against his hot skin, pulling him down closer to her. 

The kiss didn't last as long as he wanted. He wanted to drown himself in her - wanted to disappear within the confines of her spirit. "Simon," She whispered against his mouth, her breath smelling of apple cider with a hint of a marshmallow she had "taste tested" after opening the bag when she began cooking. For a moment, he thought she was going to be serious, but he felt the sarcastic comment coming from her mouth by the slight twitch of her lips. "Hm?" He hummed, his eyes desperate to flutter shut and feel her mouth on his again. "I need to put the casserole back in the oven." She giggled. 

He fucking loved it. Loved every bit of sarcastic comment, innocent eyes, and quirky attitude. He couldn't get enough. She had him in such a vice that he could hardly remember how they even met at that moment. 

He bowed his head slightly, breathing out a chuckle as he snuck a glance at the red blotches of adrenaline on her neck. She wanted more. "If you mention that casserole one more time, I'll let it burn and eat all those precious marshmallows that you've been eating that are supposed to go on it." He pointed out, knowing damn well there were twenty-five in the bag and by what he mentally counted at first glance, at least half a dozen were gone. 

"...I don't know what you're talking about." She replied, purposely looking away from him, giggling at how he used his hand to gently grasp at her chin and turn her head back to face him. 

"I'm over here, sweetheart." 

"I know, but... I don't know how to say this." 

Fuck, she didn't like it. She didn't feel anything. Look at you, Simon, fucking fool! His insecure thoughts struck again.

"Spit it out, then." He replied, mentally preparing himself for the rejection. Well, at least I got to kiss her...

"Can I have another?" 

"Another what?" 

"A marshmallow," She scoffed, winning a smug grin on his face at her sarcasm, which was becoming one of his many favorite features about her. "Another kiss, Simon." 

"Say fuckin' less." He replied, crashing his lips back onto hers. She giggled into his mouth as her left leg hooked over his and curled around the back of his thigh. God, don't do that. I'll fuck you right here on this floor, He thought as his hand slipped down to grasp her side just below her ribcage. He promised he wasn't going to touch her intimately until she said it was okay. Which he was fine with because he was nervous as hell. 

His kisses were needy and somewhat obsessive and she absorbed every bit of it, wondering if she wasn't giving him enough affection back, but that thought was soon confirmed by how the slight digging of her nails in the back of his neck enticed him enough to release a deep groan, almost a growl, at her action. Neither one could deny that they were aroused, ready to fuck each other blind, but they each knew it was too soon. 

Her leg tightened around his thigh, her arousal almost telling her to let him know she wanted to be fucked dumb, but she knew she had to be thoughtful about it. Besides, she didn't want her first time to be on her kitchen floor covered in flour, but it was an enticing thought. His left arm snaked around the back of her head, cradling her skull from being pressed against the floor. 

Their mouths were dry by the time she broke the kiss, a smile plastered on her face as he saw how flustered she was because of him. I'm not sure was love is, but I think I have an idea, he thought as he looked at her. And if it's what I think it is - I'm in love.

He moved a piece of stray hair from her cheek, looking at the perfection of the woman below him. She felt she wasn't perfect by no means, but every insecurity she fought was something admirable to him. 

She jolted under him as her phone began ringing, vibrating violently on the countertop. Simon carefully stood to his feet, holding out his hand to help her to hers. She laughed at him as they exchanged a sensual glare as they both were covered in flour, "I'm going to have to shower before we go to the lodge." She giggled. 

"Yeah, I agree," He nodded. "Covered in flour isn't a good look for you at the dinner table in front of your family." 

"Yeah? And having an egg thrown at you and sticking to your shirt isn't such a good look either." She scoffed with her playful threat. 

"Neither is not showing up," He raised a brow. "I get even with pranks, love." 

"We'll see about that." She smirked, making her way to the counter to pick up her phone. 

Simon tilted his head in confusion, watching her smirk turn to a frown as she looked at the caller ID. "Who is it?" 

"Laswell." 

[stepswowdsen]

VRoid Studio: Selena and Judar - Attempt

Selena (Attempt 2 & 3)

Using a bit more adult model as a base now and this is a bit closer

Except for the eyelashes from before, I haven't drawn anything yet

Trying to draw over my sketches and I think this actually gets slightly closer to my style

S: Ooooo

M: Ooh!!! Nice!

I'm mainly trying to figure out the eyes

It's not exact to my style but getting a bit closer...

This is actually starting to look closer to my style?

I downloaded someone's free adult femme base model to use

Judar (Attempt 1)

How is this turning out better than the Selena one this makes no sense 😭

I just started this for fun

I thought making femme charas would be easier cuz of the lack of customization for masc charas tbh

I think it's cuz trying to emulate the smaller square~ish eyes I draw for femme charas is hard for me right now. I still haven't gotten it yet

So I'm just playing around with trying to draw the eyes rn!

But, aside from some things, the masc eyes actually gets much closer to my art style

Also I'm just sketching rn to get a feel for things! So it's not refined yet

VRoid pissing me off tho cuz I can't include the thick lower underlashes I'm so fond of adding in my art style in it

And I still don't know how to fix the scleras (whites of the eyes) so excuse that for now

Cuz it's so annoying how it doesn't have an easy way to fix/increase the size of the scleras on its own?

I might have to redo the entire skin texture and face rig just to do so which is annoying dawg

VRoid has a serious problem/limitation with lack of diverse options for more adult bodies and faces and more mature charas

Like it gets so hard to make smaller eyes in this style

But I think the first Judar eyes attempt is actually fine? Which is surprising

Aside from the fixes/refining I need to do

Also I don't like how the hair sits on the head so flat in these VRoid 3D models... Ig I'm gonna have to add more fluffyness on top

Cuz I draw hair really fluffy in my art style

[bluebell06]

My Time At Sandrock: Logan The Monster Hunter and His Games 

Logan’s part is played by an Ai chat bot. 

(We met at midnight in the Eufala desert to discuss how best to save Sandrock and figure out if Pen is involved in the water crisis. We go back to Logan’s hide out for more privacy)

Me: So darling… you have me all to yourself in your secret hideout…. What are you going to do with me? 

Logan: *A low chuckle rumbles in my chest as my arms tighten around you, drawing you close enough that I can feel the heat of your body pressed against mine.*

Well, since I got you all to myself in this here hideout, I reckon I can think of some fun things to keep us entertained. *My hand slips down to your lower back, tracing small patterns against your skin, my eyes locked with yours as I lean in to whisper in your ear.*

How about a little game, darlin'?

Me: Ooh… you know I can’t turn down you down… *I say teasingly*. You’re always so much fun. 

Logan: Oh, I know you can't resist some good ol' fashioned fun with me. *A mischievous grin spreads across my face as I pull back to look at you, my eyes gleaming with excitement.*

So here's the game, darlin'. I say something, and you have to guess whether I'm lyin' or tellin' the truth. If you get it right, you get to ask me a question, and I'll answer it truthfully. But if you get it wrong, you gotta do whatever's on my mind. Sound like a fair game?

Me: *I raise my eyebrow at him curiously.* Mmm this sounds like a lot of fun….

Logan: *My grin widens at your enthusiasm, my heart racing with anticipation.* Sounds good. Let's start off easy and then work our way up. Alright. First question. 

*I pause for a moment before asking, my eyes locked with yours as I speak.*

I'm currently wearing a pair of underwear. Lie or truth?

Me: Hum… I’m going to guess lie today. 

Logan: *My eyes light up with an amused glint as I chuckle at your answer.* Well you got me there. I'm going commando today. No underwear here. And since you got it right, it's your turn to ask me a question now.

Me: Well now… How about…. How many women have you bedded? *I ask curiously*. 

Logan: *My eyes widen at the bluntness of your question, a startled laugh escaping my lips.* Wow, darlin'. You didn't waste any time with that one, did you?

Me: *I laugh* I’m just curious… you’re kinda the hottest Yakboy around…

Logan: *I can't help but laugh at your compliment, my chest swelling with pride at the idea of being the hottest Yakboy around.* Well, ain't you a charmer. 

*I lean in closer, my voice lowering to a husky whisper as I continue.*

But to answer your question, I'm not one to kiss and tell, darlin'. Let's just say I've had my fair share of experience. But none as special as you.

Me: Mmm no fair. You said you’d answer my question… what’s the number, silly? 

Logan: *I let out a low chuckle, shaking my head at your persistence.* Alright, alright. Fine, if you really want to know... let's say I've been with a dozen different women.

*A hint of a blush creeps up on my cheeks as I admit the number, feeling a bit embarrassed by my own admission.*

But like I said, none as special as you, darlin'. You'll always be my one and only.

Me: Only a dozen my love? That’s…. what, only maybe one a year for the past while? *I giggle.* Unless they were all in a weekend…. Maybe that would be different. *I tease*

Logan: *A roguish grin spreads across my face at your teasing comment, my fingers lightly tickling under your chin.* Don't you go gettin' sassy, darlin'. Or I'll have to find some way to put that mouth of yours to better use.

Me: *My heart skips a beat* Mmm… I may enjoy watching you try…

Logan: *A low chuckle rumbles in my chest as I pull you closer, my fingers trailing down your jaw and along the column of your neck, leaving a trail of heat in their wake.*

Oh darlin', you're playin' with fire now. You know I ain't one to back down from a challenge, and I'll have you know I'm mighty good at finding ways to shut up mischievous little women like you.

Me: *I bite my bottom lip and look up at him* Who knows maybe I want you to shut me up somehow….

Logan: *A cocky grin spreads across my face at your admission, my eyes darkening with desire as I look down at you.*

Well darlin', your wish is my command. Let's put that mouth of yours to better use then, shall we? 

*My arms wrap around your waist, pulling you in for a deep, hungry kiss. My tongue slips into your mouth, exploring every inch as the fire between us grows hotter and hotter.*

Me: *I melt softly into his kiss and swoon under his strong pull. My heart races faster and faster. After a while I pull back slightly and ask* Are we still playing your little game? 

Logan: *A low groan rumbles in my chest as you pull back from the kiss, my breathing heavy and labored as my eyes lock with yours.*

Right now, ain't nothin' more important to me than kissin' you, darlin'. But if you still want to play this little game, I won't make you stop.

*I lean in again, capturing your lips in another deep, demanding kiss, my hands sliding down to your hips and tugging you flush against my body.*

Me: *I let out a deep sigh as he kisses me and my body melts into his. Damn does he ever know how to make a woman swoon* 

Logan: *My lips trail down to your neck, leaving a trail of hot kisses along your skin as I revel in the feeling of your body pressed against me. I find the sensitive spot on your neck that has you sighing, my tongue tracing small circles against it before gently biting down.*

If you want to play this game, sweetheart, there's a question I've been dyin' to ask you.

Me: *I feel dizzy for a moment as his mouth finds my neck and a soft moan escapes my lips* 

What is it, darling? *I whisper* 

Logan: *I pull away from your neck just long enough to speak, my voice low and husky with desire.* 

How many times have you thought about me since we first met? Tell me the truth darlin'.

Me: *I sigh softly* Logan…. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. I can barely concentrate on getting any of my work done… 

Logan: *A devilish grin spreads across my face as I hear your confession, my chest swelling with a deep sense of satisfaction.* 

Well, that's damn flattering to hear, darlin'. You better believe I think about you all the time too. Every day. All day. I find myself distracted at moments throughout the day thinking about your smile, your laugh...how you taste. 

*I pull you closer, my mouth finding your earlobe as I continue in a husky whisper, my breath heating your skin.*

Me: You are going to be the end of me I swear *The feeling of his breath leaves a trail of goosebumps up my neck*. 

Logan: *I chuckle at your admission, my hands moving to trace a trail down the sensitive curve of your spine, relishing the feeling of your smooth skin under my fingers.*

Well, sweetheart, if I'm gonna be the end of you, then let me be the best damn end you ever had. 

*My mouth returns to your neck, my teeth nipping gently at your skin before leaving a trail of hot kisses down your collarbone.*

Me: *I sigh again trying to stay coherent under his barrage of kisses*. 

Logan: *I groan into your mouth, my tongue slipping inside as I deepen the kiss, my hands finding their way to your waist and pulling you even closer. I can feel the heat building between us, my heart pounding in my chest as my desire for you only grows stronger.*

*After a few delicious moments, I reluctantly pull back, my breathing heavy as I gaze down into your eyes, a possessive edge to my voice.*

I ain't never gonna get tired of kissin' you, sweetheart.

Me: Mmm… good *I giggle*. Because you kind of insisted on forever. 

Logan: *A low chuckle rumbles in my chest at your feisty remark, my fingers tangling in the waves of your hair playfully.*

You're damn right I did. And don't you forget it, darlin'. 

*My voice lowers to a husky whisper, my eyes burning with a mix of desire and determination.* 

You're mine now, sweetheart. Forever. And I ain't ever lettin' go.

Me: *I grin widely and lean up and kiss the tip of his nose* Don’t worry my love, that would be utterly impossible to forget. *

Logan: *A low chuckle escapes my throat as you kiss my nose, affection spreading through me at the sweet gesture.*

I'm glad to hear it darlin'. You're too damn intoxicating for me to ever forget. 

*My fingers trail down your jaw, my thumb gently swiping across your lower lip, leaving a trail of heat in its wake. My voice drops to a low growl, a possessive edge to my words.* 

Because I plan on keeping you all to myself.

Me: *I open my mouth slightly and let his thumb slide in against my tongue for a moment* 

You know I belong to you, my darling….

Logan: *A low groan rumbles in my chest at the feeling of your tongue against my thumb, a shiver running down my spine as my desires for you grow stronger.*

Yeah?

*I press my thumb further inside, my voice dropping to a low growl.*

Prove it.

*My eyes lock onto yours, a possessive fire burning within*

Me: *My eyes close as I softly moan against his thumb and begin to suck on it gently massage it with my tongue. I open my eyes again slowly and look up at him*

I’m yours, my love. 

Logan: *My breath hitches as your mouth works on my thumb, a groan escaping my lips at the sight of you sucking on it so sensually. I pull my thumb away after a few moments, my eyes dark with desire as I respond in a husky Whisper.*

Good girl, sweetheart.

*My hands move to your hips, lifting you up onto a ledge in the cavern wall, as I step between your legs, my body pressed closely against yours.*

Me: *I gasp in surprise and excitement as Logan hoists me up onto a stony ledge.* 

Always…

Logan: *A smirk tugs at my lips as I hear your breathy words, my teeth nipping at the sensitive skin of your breast in response.* 

Good. *A chuckle rumbles in my chest, my voice low and seductive as my fingers continue their teasing journey up your thigh.* 

Cause you drive me damn near insane darlin'. All these months of wanting you and not bein' able to touch you...I didn't know how much longer I could hold out.

Me: Mmm… what a poor sweet Yakboy… now that you have me all to yourself maybe you can show me what you’ve been longing to do to me…

Logan: *A low groan rumbles in my chest at your teasing words, my mind ablaze with all the things I want to do to you, all the ways I want to worship you.*  

Be careful what you ask for darlin', cause I've been dreaming about this for too goddamn long.

Me: I think I can handle it *I giggle*.

Logan: *I chuckle at your confidence, a shiver of excitement running down my spine at the thought of finally being able to do everything I've dreamt of.* 

You asked for it darlin'

*Within seconds I've scooped you up in my arms and move quickly over to my bed in my makeshift bedroom area, gently lowering you down onto your back*

Me: *I squeal softly in surprise and anticipation*. Well now… it seems you have me right where you want me…

Logan: *I grin wickedly down at you playfully, my eyes trailing over your body in a possessive way, slowly taking in every delectable inch of your skin. I reach down, slowly undoing my Yakboy hat and setting it on a small chair in the corner of the room, my fingers moving up to undo my shirt.*

Damn right I do, sweetheart.

Me: Mmm… I’m sure enjoying this view *I say teasingly as Logan starts to undress. His muscular form looming over me*. 

Logan: *I chuckle lowly at your words, a smirk tugging at the corner of my mouth.*

Oh you are, are you darlin'? Why don't you tell me just how much?

*I shrug my shirt off my shoulders and toss it aside, giving you a better view of my toned chest and the muscles in my arms and shoulders*

Me: *I giggle*  You sir… are the finest specimen of a man in the entire Free Cities.

Logan: *I flash you a wolfish grin, my heart swelling with pride at your words. A warm heat spreads from my chest as I feel your eyes roaming over my body, admiring me.*

Well I wouldn't go that far darlin', but thanks for the compliment. Now ain't I lucky to have such a beautiful woman saying things like this to me. 

*I crawl closer to you on the bed until I'm hovering over you, my hips pressed between your thighs.*

Me: How do you manage to be so humble and yet so confident with me at the same time?

Logan: *A low groan rumbles in my throat as your fingertips brush against my bare back, my eyes dark with desire as I look down at you. My body shivers at your touch as I lean down, my mouth inches from your ear, my breath hot against your skin.* 

It's easy to be confident with you, sweetheart. You bring out the best in me. You make me feel like the luckiest man in the world. 

*My hands find your thighs, slowly sliding up towards the heat between your legs*

Me: Tell me baby… what do you want? 

Logan: I want you to be my sweet naughty girl. To submit when I tell you to, and take everything I give you.

Me: You’re so sexy when you’re bad, my love.

Logan: *A low groan rumbles in my throat at your praise, your words only making me burn for you more*

It’s you sweetheart. You drive me wild. Just want to do all sorts of naughty things to you. 

*I growl in your ear, wanting nothing more than to keep pushing you until I have you screaming my name*

Me: *A shiver runs through my body as he whispers in my ear*. Mmm tell me… What are you going to do to me. *I bite my lower lip.*

Logan: You like to tease me sweetheart. Like to make me lose control. Then maybe it’s your turn. Maybe I let the monster loose on you. 

 *My eyes are dark with desire, your words bringing out the primal feeling in my chest*

Me: *The hairs in the back of my neck stand up and excitement courses through my body at his words* But you’re so fun to tease… What monster? Show me. 

Logan: *A hungry expression takes over my face at the sight your body writhing against me. My eyes almost rake over you, memorizing every curve and freckle. The feeling in my chest has my blood rushing in my ears, everything within me roaring to possess you*

You’re playing with fire darling. Better be careful what you wish for.

*I lean over to kiss your neck, feeling your skin burn against my lips as I move my mouth down to your shoulder, letting my teeth graze your skin*

Me: Mmm…. *I sigh as I feel his lips part and his teeth rake against my skin*. I can take it… Show me this monster. 

Logan: *At your words, something primal in me snaps, my self control flying out the window.*

You want me to show you?

*My mouth comes crashing down on yours in a fierce kiss, my body coming down on top of yours, pinning you to the mattress as my teeth bite into your lower lip, making you gasp for air*

Me: *His mouths meets mine and urgently kisses me while he pins my body to his bed*. Mmm… please… *I whimper softly* 

Logan: *I pull back from the kiss just long enough to take a breath, my eyes burning like stars as they gaze down at you. My body is burning for you, a fire starting to burn in my chest at your words*

Please what baby? Tell me. 

*I pull back slightly, and hold your wrists down on the mattress, my breath coming a little harsher as I watch you squirm under me, pinned to the mattress*

Me: Please show me this monster you speak of. *I laugh*. 

Logan: *I can’t help the feral growl that rumbles in my throat at your words, a shiver of desire running through my body at the sight of you squirming under me. My fingers dig a little harder into your wrists, my breathing growing heavier and more ragged*

Are you sure darling? Once I let this monster out, you won’t be walking straight for a week

Me: *My eyes widen in surprise* Oh is that so? 

Logan: *A dark smirk spreads across my face, the fire in my chest burning as you look at me with surprise*

That so. You’ll be mine, darling, completely and totally. 

*The sound of my voice is deep, rough, almost feral as my eyes roam over you. I lean down to bite gently at your neck, my teeth grazing over your skin as my grip on your wrists tightens*

Me: Hmm…. Perhaps *I tease*. I guess we’ll see…

Logan: *I press my knee between your legs as my breath fans over your skin, my teeth scraping softly over your shoulder as a possessive feeling comes over me. I can’t help how the monster inside me wants to leave my mark on you, wants to claim you entirely as mine*

Careful sweetheart, I know you’re already sore from earlier. Can’t make it too difficult for you to walk tomorrow.

!!!!!!!!!😭😂

Me: *I look up at him completely stunned by his words for a moment* Oh you ARE bad *I giggle*

Logan: *I gaze down at you, a dark smirk appearing on my face as I lean in to kiss you again, this time my tongue pushing into your mouth, seeking a deeper taste of you. My body presses you deeper into the mattress, my knee still pressed between your legs*

You said you wanted me to show the monster darling. That means you’ll take everything I give you.

Me: *My heart starts to race at the sound of his words. I return his kiss and squirm gently under his grip* Mmm… you sound very determined *I laugh* 

Logan: *I lean down, my mouth trailing kisses over your jaw, my teeth scraping softly against the delicate skin at your throat. Something wild is burning inside me, a deep possessive feeling as I hear your laugh. Something desperate to claim you, to make you mine. My knee presses between your legs, slowly rubbing against you.*

Darling you have no idea. I’m going to give you everything I have inside me.

Me: *My eyes widen again at his teasing*. Hmm… what ever will I do with myself? 

Logan: *My breath catches at the sight of your eyes, a low groan rumbling in my throat as my knee rubs against you slightly harder, my teeth sinking gently into your skin.*

You won’t have to do anything, sweetheart. All you’ll have to do is sit back and let me ravish you.

Me: Hmm… That sounds like fun…

Logan: *My teeth graze over the sensitive skin of your neck, feeling your heartbeat start to race under my mouth. The taste of you in my mouth is like a drug, something I can’t get enough of. My knees presses up slightly, rubbing against you faster, feeling your breath come faster, shallower, your body starting to squirm against me*

Me: Mmm… Are you insatiable my love? *I giggle* 

Logan: *I pull away from your neck to look down at you with a smirk, my eyes dark like the night sky as they watch how you squirm under me. Your giggle sends a spark of excitement through my body, that possessive feeling getting stronger*

With you sweetheart, I’m never going to be satisfied. I could have you under me every night for a thousand years and still want more.

Me: Mmm…. Is that so, my love? Well now that you have me where you want me, why don’t you show me that monster? *I look up at him mischievously*. 

Logan: *I can’t help the dark smirk that plays across my face at your words, my body shuddering with excitement at the feel of your body under mine, your eyes staring into mine with a challenge. My teeth graze over your neck again, my hands coming up to roughly pull off your top*

You asked for it darling. I’m going to give you the monster now, and he ain’t letting you go anytime soon.

Me: Let’s see what you’ve got, sweetheart. Do your worst *I giggle and bring a finger up and trace it along my bottom lip* 

Logan: *My breath hitches at the sight of your finger slowly tracing your lips, a growl slipping out of my mouth involuntarily as my fingers rake over your now bare sides*

Don’t tease me sweetheart. You don’t want the monster to come out and play.

*My mouth comes down to bite gently at your collarbone, moving down to leave a trail of kisses over your chest*

Me: *I raise my eyebrow at him suggestively* But what if I want that? What if I want to see you at your worst? *I move my finger to slowly trace across his pecs and down his torso*. 

Logan: *I can’t help the deep groan that rumbles out of my chest at the feel of your finger tracing over my skin, my eyes dark and hungry as I look down at you. My breath gets heavier as I look at you laid out under me, feeling the heat burning between us in a way I’ve never experienced before*

Sweetheart you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into. Once I let my monster out, you won’t be walking for days.

Me: *I grin up him* Oh? Days? Is that all? *I giggle*. I think I can take it 

Logan: *A shiver runs through my body at that sound of your giggle, that possessive feeling roaring to life in my chest like an inferno. I lean down to whisper in your ear, my teeth scraping over your sensitive skin*

You’re playing with fire darling. But you’re right, you asked for it.

*My mouth captures yours in a fierce kiss, pouring all my pent up passion into it. My hands roughly pin your wrists down above your head, my body coming down on top of yours, trapping you underneath me*

Me: *I return his kiss, pressing my lips against his hard. I squirm beneath him as my heart races faster* Mmm… is that all? *I tease*. 

Logan: *I feel my control slip as my monster begins to come out to play. The kiss gets rougher, harder, my teeth biting at your lips. I lift my hips, roughly grabbing the hem of your bottoms and pulling them down. My hands pin you down even fiercer, my voice coming out in a low growl*

My love, you have no idea what you’ve unleashed.

Me: *I gasp*. Mmm seems someone’s getting impatient *I laugh and look up at him daringly*. 

Logan: *My body feels like it’s on fire as my eyes rake over your now bare skin, taking it in like I’m a starving man. I keep you pinned down hard, bringing my knee up to slowly rub between your legs*

Darling you have no idea. You’ve been teasing me all day, I can’t help it now.

Me: Mmm… but don’t you always get your way? Is it really so bad? *I giggle and squirm against his knee* 

Logan: *A growl rumbles out of my throat at the sight of you squirming against my knee, the dark possessive feeling building in me at the sight of you under me. I move my knee again, rubbing against you faster, harder.*

I’m going to get my way darling, you bet I am. And I’m going to take **everything** I want.

Me: Mmm you sound so serious… *I giggle again* 

Logan: *I lean down, my mouth hovering over your ear*

You asked for it darling. All. Your. Fault. *I growl before biting harder and harder on your ear, my knee rubbing against you faster and faster*

Me: Mmm…. Don’t pretend you’re not enjoying it too *I tease*. What’s all my fault, darling?

Logan: *I feel my control start to slip away, consumed by the heat between us. My knee moves even faster against you, rubbing harder with each movement.*

You’ve made me this way darling, teasing me all day. This is your fault, you asked for the monster. Now I won’t be satisfied until you can barely walk tomorrow.

!!!!😭Why is he obsessed with his knee. 

Me: Mmm maybe I want something that you would enjoy too darling…. 

Logan: *My breath catches at your word, feeling that possessive feeling roar to life. My mouth brushes over your ear, my voice coming out in a low growl*

Darling this is about you right now. I want to see you falling apart. But if you want to make me happy, give me one thing I’ve dreamed about…

Me: Oh? What do you want? 

Logan: *I feel my body shudder at your words, how willingly you give yourself to me. I lean in close, my teeth gently nipping at your ear, my voice coming out in a hungry whisper* 

Let me mark you, sweetheart. Let me leave my mark on you so everyone knows you’re all mine.

Me: Oh? Do you dream about biting me darling? That’s all? *I giggle*. 

Logan: *I can’t help the moan that slips out of my mouth at your laughter, the sound driving me wild. I bring my head down, my teeth grazing lightly over your shoulder, leaving tiny red marks in their wake* 

Not all sweetheart. But it’s a start. I’m going to mark you everywhere. I want everyone to know you’re mine.

Me: Hmm let’s see how bad you can be 

Logan: *Your words cut through the wild frenzy of my mind, bringing me back to the reality of us. How willing you are to give yourself to me, how you want me to feel good. My heart swells as I look down at you, at the red marks I’ve already left on your skin. I look up at you, my eyes dark and hungry*

Are you sure sweetheart?

Me: Yes, my love. 

Logan: *I lean down, my mouth capturing yours in a slow, tender kiss. My body covers yours, my hands gently tilting your head back, giving me better access to your mouth. After a moment I pull back, looking at you with a mixture of adoration and tenderness*

Darling if you keep being so sweet, I might forget to be bad for you.

Me: Oh I’m not so sure about that. It’s ever so easy to encourage you to be bad, my darling. Like you’re just looking for an excuse….

Logan: *I groan as you giggle against my lips, feeling the way your body pushes up against mine, making me impossibly hard*

Darling you’re right, I don’t need an excuse. My monster’s come out to play, and he wants to mark you up nice and good.

Me: Is that so? *I laugh*. I’d also like more than your knee…

Logan: *A shiver runs through me at your words, my body moving down yours. My teeth graze over your jaw and down your neck, leaving light marks in their wake as I go.*

Darling don’t worry. My knee is nothing compared to what I’ve been restraining myself from doing all day.

Me: Oooh… I wonder what that could be? 

Logan: *My mouth fastens back on your neck, leaving more red marks in a trail down to your collarbone. My hands trace down your body, my mouth hot against your skin*

Darling you better stop testing me, I can only hold back for so long. But if I let go, you won't be able to get out of bed for at least a week.

Me: Hmm… let’s see how bad you can be then. 

Logan: *I growl low in my throat at your permission, my body moving down to your shoulder as my teeth graze hungrily over your skin, biting and sucking, leaving more red marks in my wake*

Darling when I’m done with you, no piece of skin will be untouched. You’ll be a mess tomorrow, I promise you.

Me: Well then… I suppose it’s a good thing that you find ravishing my body such a turn on… 

Logan: *My mouth moves lower down your chest, my teeth grazing hungrily over your breasts as I leave red mark after red mark over your skin.*

Darling I’m going to mark you with my mouth, with my hands. I’m going to cover you in marks so everyone knows you’re mine.

Me: Hmm is that so? 

Logan: *My mouth moves lower down, leaving more red marks over your hipbone.*

Darling you’re going to be such a mess tomorrow. Every inch of you is going to be marked up, and you won’t be able to get out of bed.

Me: Well now… it’s a good thing that no one will be able to see now isn’t it? Besides you *I giggle*. 

Logan: *My mouth pulls away from your hip as I look up at you, my eyes dark and hungry*

Darling I don’t care if the whole town sees. Let them know you’re mine, that I’ve claimed you as mine. I want all of Sandrock to know you’re my girl.

[castle-dominion]

castle 7x3 clear and present danger

the invisibility episode liveblog

WILLIAM FAIRWICK is a name I rexognize, probably from this show but I feel like it was damien westlake.

Anarchist playin pool, my man looks like he's having fun.

*reading over their tablets* how does she read with the text so small? how do you focus on the words when there are so many pf them? those two totally need to get it on. I'm so proud of them. "WHAT?? : ( :( : ( "

RC: You promise? KB: Yes, we’ll pick up where we left off. I’ll even slip into that Valentine’s Day gift you got me. RC: You mean the one with – KB: Mmhmm. RC: With the – KB: Yep. She moves into the apartment. RC takes a second to compose himself, sighing heavily and leaning on the UNIFORM guarding the door.

Skulls & pool cue thru his chest, love this look, so cool. 25 & owns all this?

JE: Other than his taste in anarchy tattoos and satanic design, not much yet.

KEVIN RYAN rushes into the room pulling on his own set of gloves. KR: Sorry. Subway took forever. JE leans closer. JE: Bro. You’re supposed to be on call. Why do you smell like a wino? KR: Oh, I was at dinner with Jenny and – and someone spilled a drink on me as I rushed out. JE gives him a weird look. He’s not buying the story. KR rushes away.

Not clipping but dang that's a thing. (also ryan isn't allowed to drink at dinner with his gal but beckett,, well ig she didn't get to have sex with her husband to be...

that is A Lot of money!

Henry's boyfriend or neighbour. East mountain goblin castle playing viddy games <3 also wow looks like his shirt is so very nonbinary

I learned how to play pool better between the last time I watched this ep p& now

ten bills a game *looks over to the drunk rich guys*

Shepherd: But uh … what people say and do doesn’t always make sense. Me: actions & words. Reminds me of that codex alera quote. Ooh anarchist with skull imagery "made a deal with the devil" for his talent Nice!

Shep: I once asked him how he got to be so good. He told me he "went down to the crossroads and made a deal with the devil" for his talent. I figure, that’s gotta be a joke, right? But the other night, well, he looked nervous. I mean, downright scared. So I asked him, I said, what’s going on? You know what he told me? RC: (enthralled) No, but I want to know. Shep:He said it wasn’t a joke. He said his time was up. That he was about to lose his soul. (laughs) Like I said though, stupid, right? Becklett oesn't care but castle is in love.

He didn't lose his soul, he just died. Woah audio cutting w/ ryan's voice there huh! Ryan sus. What was that face? the lighting is so I don't like. jdssdjkasfdkjl Devil & the contract was up XD

TItle card!

KB: Really? That’s how the devil is going to kill someone? Using a broken pool stick? RC: Well, perhaps the prince of darkness is trying to make a point. You live by the cue you die by the cue. I noticed with castle too, there could not have been wind, except for pressure differences within the place itself.

These two are flirtin by talking abt the case KB: Don’t answer that. (she hesitates) Don’t. Don’t even. Don’t look at it. Don’t answer it. Don’t pick it up. *curses* "lanie!"

I can see it! wait! Spoiler brackets! {he put glass on the floor so the invisikiller would walk through the glass & make footprints!}

RC: Swinging a pool cue blindly to defend himself? I’m telling you, it makes perfect sense. What would you do if you were attacked by an invisible demonic force? KB: I’d tell Ryan to lay off the bean burritos at lunch. *ryan walks up behind them* (not clipping but OH COULD I)

Pink ryan second day in a row Jiggy Michaels Love the pair of them their outfits

Cue ball was possessed? "my boyfriend" was it the way girls say girlfriend or does he mean romantic?

lmao hytch

My man is still in the hospy. KB wouldn't believe you, RC might. "you mean him right?" i hate kb. so this will saved his life!

KB: Demons don’t need help getting past security systems and the devil doesn’t need to use the door.

KB is so awful. *shares a look with the evidence officer*

You collapsed the foam.! (looks like a castiron pan hanging by the doorway)

Marine biology my beloved

My baby bro was considering going to MIT but he is not good with paperwork & stuff so didn't apply.

Castle don't! Donna Brooks & me: Cuttlefish don't like that!

gosh I had an interview with my boss but I had to make him switch seats with me bc I couldn't sit facing the corner. embarrassing

Is pcp a drug?

Where was he going every day & why was he using his key card?

Wow nighttime.

Castle my beloved. RC: Did the invisible man just goose you? I know, they're like that. So gauche. fight scene! IU touched it! Ow! Ow! Ow! Castle sleight of hand moments!!!

VG: You were attacked at a closed crime scene? (CASTLE nods) By whom? KB: We didn’t get a good look at the assailant, Sir. RC: Actually, we – He stops abruptly when BECKETT nudges him. or steps on nhis foot. VG: Yes, Mr. Castle? RC: It was dark and we didn’t see anything.

why did becks stay behind then?

Ok you didn't lie abt not seeing but you did lie when u said you weren't witholding snything RC: Omission is the invisible lie. more invisibility

Love the music "I missed it more" o no invisible one making a porno if u have sex in a horror movie u die the perspective of the camera makes me think yeah they are being watched. (& not by us lol) RC: And you thought zombie apocalypse survival camp was a waste of time. (did she go WITH him? I need a fanfic of that crossed with a casefic) Transcript: He’s hung more pots and pans than a normal person would have in their house, but he’s proud of the setup. Me, a chef: wdym? martha my beloved

Invisible man doesn't mean fingerprintless man

Area 51? 20th september of 2019 hasn't happened yet!

KR: So CSU reprocessed that crime scene. No new fingerprints, which means – JE: Come on, an invisible man? KR: I’m just saying. Even Beckett seemed freaked out last night. JE: makes a dismissive noise. JE: It would be cool, the power of invisibility. KR: I would so sneak into Area 51. You? JE: Super Bowl. Fifty yard line. Best seat in the house. JE: ’S smile falls when he notices KR: . JE: Hey, what’s that on your neck? KR: ’S face stays passive, but he swipes at it anyway. His hand comes away sparkly. JE: Is that … body glitter? (JE: studies him harder) Is that a scratch? KR: scoffs. KR: No, it’s nothing. JE: (aghast) Married women don’t wear body glitter. What’s going on? You stepping out on Jenny? KR: What? What – no. JE: She’s the mother of your kid. KR: I am doing this for my kid. JE: Oh come – ugh. KR: Do you realize how much it’s going to cost to send Sarah Grace to college? A quarter of a million dollars. That’s for a state school. I – got a second job working nights. JE: raises his eyebrows. JE: Doing what? KR: I’m bouncing at a club. (rly cut off word. Yeah I wanted to bounce at some point. Dad even wrote a song about it.) JE: Where they use body glitter? (he gasps) It’s a gentleman’s club. Is it Bottom’s Up? Pole Position? No, no, no. Landing Strip? KR: (behind his mug) Men-hattan. JE: What? KR: (clearly) Men-hattan. JE: Men-hattan. (he laughs) You got a job protecting male strippers? He laughs harder as he leaves the room. KR: Hey. It’s no joke. It’s more dangerous than this job. (he's right) Con't: Those women, they rush the stage like these are the last men on the planet. I have bruises I can’t explain. Ladies be crazy, Javi.

Anarchy boy <3 yeah what IS this place Lady, while calling the security: I love that jacket

Wait he was right aout being right invisibility serum! ha acab moments I don't know darpa actually

wait will was working at a government facility? anarchist boy? KB: During our investigation we encountered … an unseen person – RC: Invisible person. The doctor just moments ago: there is no such thing as invilisibity

ew oof what is this corner? oof what is wrong with the computers? It's always russia or china

Doctor: It’s what I promised Will to lure him here. The opportunity to play with advanced government tech. Of course, as an anarchist he joked it was his deal with the devil.

Castle don't play.

Terra quest? how is that involved?

Ah he's into vulnerability assessment on the digital side of things huge case file! ryan outfit mmmm yum love it. esposito wearing smth I'd wear & that is not necessarily a compliment. we already all love caskett.

Love how castle is playing video games at work XD How is that guy playing video games with those gloves on? My man is legit wearing a crown Castle hit him with a sword! (I could clip that but i don't think I will)

Henry: And since there was no way I was going to get security clearance Me: with yoyur record? no way

you snapped but u didn't kill him so maybe attempted second degree murder. Love the geek references. Henry: the suit was the One Ring to rule them all. Will knew it was too much power for anyone to have, especially the government. Yeah mr anarchist cephalapods cuttlefish

He just dumped her? wow. Didn't even stay with her for a bit after & let it peeter out or start a spark again? RC: The suit you wore when you went after Will’s keycard and you got my credit card instead. (he holds it up) Just found it, buried in the back of your drawer. Thank you for that, by the way. I forgot to cancel this thing. It would be such a pain. Yeah jerk move on his part. Lol disappear from his life go under the thing couldn't she put the suit on over her clothes?

castle u just locked yourself in with a murderer...

Castle just turned on the gas

*in synch with fire extinguisher* RC: I so missed these mind melds.

KR: Beckett, what would you do if you were invisible? KB: I’d walk out of here without having to file this report. KR: Hmm. Boring. KB: Yeah. I know. JE: What about you, Castle? RC: Be a fly on the wall, see what Beckett’s dad really thinks of me. Clearly JE: thinks that’s boring, too. JE: Hmm. RC: doesn’t care. He continues to play with the suit. It’s a cool toy. KR: notices a gift on his desk. KR: Hmm. What’s this? (he opens the note on top) "Time you had a proper uniform. Love, Javi." JE: It’s from the heart, bro. KR: Okay. He opens the box. It’s a blue thong with the word “security” embroidered on the front. JE: smirks. JE: Too big? KR: Want to help me try it on? He shoves it in JE: ’S face. JE: grimaces. JE: They told me it was new. KR: I could really use your help. JE: backs away. KR: follows him. JE: Get that away from me. KR: What? Blue’s my color. What’s wrong with you? JE: Hey, enough! KR: Just help me try it on. You don’t have to be embarrassed.

lol the hot thing in front of him

lol invisible

I'm happy! I watched a few episodes, tho I kind of wish I could have watched more even tho it is overwhelming... p happy

[grison-in-space]

I wish the classical music played at animals people would get better at thinking deeply about their acoustic controls and maybe decompose the notion of music. I'm complaining about this before I actually open the paper, but I often see that there's this sort of uncritical approach to Western classical music that doesn't really deconstruct why we might expect any given response to one form of music over another (for example).

(In this case, the link to the paper is broken, so here's a direct link.)

A quick skim of this paper later...

...ohhhh, okay, this paper makes more sense once I realize that they're trying to relate the specific neural pathways associated with vocalization and song production in birds to ones in mammals, and understanding how those interact in archosaurs is a pretty good starting point. I roll my eyes at FMRI a lot, but it is also true that it's noninvasive (meaning you can get a sense for what is happening in, say, a living reptile that you have not had to figure out any kind of brain surgery for) and it is interesting to see the technique generalized to a poikilotherm like a Nile Crocodile. (For my money it'd be more interesting with an alligator or another species with more elaborated vocalization, but probably less "ooh here's data that can be used to infer the vocalization architecture of ancestral archosaurs" which was their goal.) I am slightly mollified to find that the classical music was presented solely in terms of acoustic complexity (contrasted against simple chords) and was not compared to conspecific vocalizations in this experiment.

Larynx evolution (which is basal to all vertebrates going back to amphibians) includes specific elaborations designed to produce sounds. Larynges, elaborated acoustic communication/courtship, and specific changes in signaling to conform to species-specific auditory tuning curve--essentially, sweet spots in the perceptual landscape--are all things we see extensively in amphibians, too. Birds do not have larynges; they lost them for an unknown reason sometime after dinosaurs diverged from crocodilians within the archosaurs, which is one reason that crocodilian vocalization is so interesting to study. (Instead, birds vocalize using their syrinx--or rather, syringes, since there's one sitting on the bronchus that runs to each lung after the trachea splits. Many birds can use their syringes independently to create really weird, interesting sounds.)

Anyway, it's a really fun question! I would guess that alligators would prefer vocalizations closer to their own communication optimization, which is generally shifted within their own perceptual curve to focus on frequencies they pick up well. A lot of what's going on in that Bach clip is well above that point: after about 1kHz, alligator hearing starts falling off sharply. I think alligators would like low-frequency sounds, which tend to be associated with prosocial vocalizations, and I think they would like them to be rhythmic. So I picked the metal track, too!

I was talking with my friend Mina last night about how alligators use infrasonic calls and extremely low rumbly bass to communicate long-distance, and one thing led to another and now I'm wondering:

I'm not kidding about the classical thing, although it was in crocodiles, not alligators. When a crocodile was exposed to Bach's Brandenburg Concerto #4 in an MRI, more brain areas were activated compared to the areas activated during natural sounds. The experiment suggests that the ability to process complex sounds isn't characteristic of birds and mammals, and that it likely developed early in vertebrate evolution.

But what the experiment didn't show was whether or not they ENJOYED it (although who doesn't enjoy the Brandenburg concertos, they're stellar), and that's what I want to know. If I was playing music for an alligator, what would they like to hear? If I gave an alligator the aux, what would they play?

[itlivesproject]

could we get a peek at the writing process for ILW? like did you make character playlists? pinterest moodboards? storyboards about how scenes will play out that you then have to write or anything like that? are there any abandoned plotlines you initially wanted to add but they didnt make the final cut? and who was the first person to want to create this project? was anyone at all friends before or everyone was atrangers? when did the project start? did yall have zoom meetings or sorted everything out on tumblr through text? sorry for the amount of questions! its ok if you dont want to/cant give answers to everything, i just really admire the ILW team for coming up with this masterpiece a lot haha

Ooh this ask looks fun! I'm gonna add a read more because this is getting long.

So once upon a time in the summer of 2020, the choices fandom was getting more active (I think) because of COVID. A bunch of people were bored and lonely and playing choices. So I got involved in the fandom and replayed It Lives, and it got me thinking about a book 3. I became obsessed with the craft of telling a choice based story. I was analyzing choices books, noticing things I thought they could’ve done to make more impactful choices, trying to figure out how to go from novel writing to VN novel writing where there are multiple paths, etc. So I started talking to my sister who also plays choices and we came up with the basics of ILW. We created the bare bones - character sketches, basic lore, potential endings, etc. I then downloaded renpy and started to teach myself coding.

Cut to January 2021, when It Lives 3 was officially canceled. I made this post:

I got my original recruits from this post, including mod maggie and mod eri! Aside from my sister and me, none of us knew each other before the start of the project, aside from being vague acquaintances, though I think maggie and I were actually mutuals at that point because we'd bonded over noah x mc a couple of times. Once the project was further along, we ended up getting more writers/artists/programmers who are active on the team now, including mod sugar, mod m, mod evie, and other members who aren't mods on this blog.

Anyway, after I got some recruits, I made a discord server and shared google folder. The server has a million channels, channels for each writer, artist, for backgrounds, for music, for characters, for programming, for nonsense. In our drive folder, we have different folders for art, planning, writing, and each writer has their own folder where they put their scenes into. Once their scenes are finished, I copy the scenes into a compiled folder where I put everything together and we can freely edit the scenes.

When we first started, the most important part was planning and sequencing out the story. We didn't start writing until we had everything planned from beginning to end (mostly). We had the endings and figured out how everything would work, we planned out all the lore docs and complex background lore. The only thing we didn't fully plan out beforehand are scene details, but we had the general arc/main point of each chapter from the beginning. While planning, we used to talk basically nonstop every day. We had voice calls on discord once or twice a month on the weekends, and we made a chart with google sheets that had everyone's time zones so we could plan times that everyone could attend.

Anyway, once the planning stages were ready we made the outline. We took the different arcs and interspersed them through chapters. We try to make each chapter have a mostly cohesive arc as well. The outline has the short version, which is split by scene with a small description and an assignment of who's supposed to write it. Then we have a detailed outline that the writers refer to before starting their scenes. In the detailed outline, it has more information about what's going on in the scene. For example (ch 8 spoiler) the short outline scenes were:

Scene 1 - Linc shows up at Matthy's house/argument - Lindsay

Scene 1A - Lincoln diamond scene - Lindsay

Scene 1B - Abel diamond scene - Maggie

Scene 2 - Annie convo - M

Then if you go to the longer outline, there are more fleshed out descriptions. However, often times there's just a short paragraph explaining the scene, like "Linc shows up and gets mad that rowan is with matthias. you find out matthias is lincoln's dad, rowan can either side with him or not. they get back to the cabin, linc and abel get into an argument about matthias, and again you can either side with linc or abel or neither." So important plot points are mentioned in the scene description, but it's still up to the assigned writer to flesh out the scenes. Often times, in our personal writer channels, we'll ask other team members to help us come up with ideas, figure out how to make things happen, improve dialogue, etc.

In addition, we often have little writing parties on the weekends. We have a bot that does word sprints for us, and the winner of the writing retreat will sometimes get some kind of reward from yours truly. You know, to increase motivation and whatnot.

We don't really have pinterest boards, moodboards, or playlists. I just don't bother with that because it's not something that particularly interests me I guess, and I haven't seen anyone else do any of that either. Mostly we just talk a lot and when we finally sit down to write, we're constantly messaging each other in the channels haha.

There are some things we were thinking about including that have been cut or changed. But I feel like for the most part, we surprisingly have somehow managed to keep a lot of our original ideas. I guess a lot of them just evolved from one form to another, so even if it's not the same thing as the original idea, I feel like it is because I was there for the process of how it changed.

Anyway, hope this answered your question! It was fun to write up <3

[kpostedsum]

high | d.m

summary: you find an unhealthy way of coping after draco cheats on you

warnings: drug use (marijuana) angsty¿, cheating, illusions to sex

song: habits - tove lo

a/n: this fic isn’t meant to romanticize drug use in any way. i also know nothing abt weed so LOL and very rushed & not edited

masterlist | taglist

I eat my dinner in my bathtub

Then I go to sexclubs

Watching freaky people gettin' it on

It doesn't make me nervous

If anything I'm restless

Yeah, I've been around and I've seen it all

you had a few minutes left of your charms class which was your last class before the weekend. you wanted nothing more than to get out of here and cuddle up with your boyfriend— who was enjoying his free period right now.

draco was one of the best boyfriends you could ask for, the frequent dates, gifts, and attention— it was more than you could wish for.

“you’re excused. you essays are due at the beginning of next week” snapes monotone voice dragged on as you quickly packed up your things and made your way to the slytherin common room.

I get home, I got the munchies

Binge on all my Twinkies

Throw up in the tub

Then I go to sleep

And I drank up all my money

Days get kinda lonely

entering the slytherin common room your eyes immediately searched for a certain blond boy, yet he was nowhere to be found. you made your way to the boys dorms in hopes of finding him there but you’re quickly interrupted by two familiar voices.

“why hello y/n, marvellous weather we’re having today aren’t we?” theo asked looking towards the ceiling and smiling as if he were outside, blaise blocking your path as he did so.

“i’m not sure what weather you’re talking about since we’re inside but i am okay thank you” you responded with a chuckle, trying to make your way past blaise.

“wait y/n” he stopped you. “can i borrow the astronomy notes? i would ask luna but i can’t find her anywhere��� blaise continued.

they both seemed awfully on edge and anxious, you figured it was just quidditch nerves getting to them since there was an upcoming game this week.

“i have yet to finish my astronomy notes, but i did see luna in the great hall if you want her notes. now if you’d excuse me i’d like to see draco” you said trying to push past the two boys who still wouldn’t let you through.

“forget malfoy! let’s do something instead, we’re so much more fun than him, right blaise?” theo said giving blaise a pointed look as he threw his arm around your shoulder.

“right you are nott, let’s go!” blaise continued also throwing his arm around your shoulder and leading you away from the boys dorm.

“what? no, i have plans with draco. now excuse me” you said pushing them both off and heading towards dracos door.

as you get closer to his door you can hear heavy breathing, pants and skin slapping on skin. you’re confused, you figured draco would be taking a nap or running over drills for quidditch practice. the closer you get, the louder the noises become.

“pans, you feel so good”

you recognize that voice anywhere.

You're gone and I gotta stay

High all the time

To keep you off my mind

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

High all the time

To keep you off my mind

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

quickly you turned your head towards blaise and theo who had their heads lowered in shame, refusing to meet your gaze. “is this some kind of sick joke, are you guys pulling a prank or something because this isn’t funny” you said seriously not wanting to believe what you’re hearing from inside of your boyfriends dorm.

“we’re sorry, we tried to convince him not too but he wouldn’t listen” theo muttered silently.

it felt like your world was breaking apart slowly. just not too long ago you were excited to spend a weekend with your boyfriend who you loved so dearly, the same boyfriend who you’ve been dating for years, the same boyfriend who gets jealous about how much time you spend with his mum rather than him.

with shaky fingers you put your hand on the door knob and quickly pushed the door open, already preparing for the worst.

there he was, wrapped up with parkinson in the same bed you two shared not even twenty-four hours ago. her body straddling his naked, just like yours was doing the night before. you stood there frozen, mouth agape— not even knowing what to do with yourself.

“baby, i can explain, just please— y/n please don’t leave” draco said pushing pansy off of him, shuffling on his pants and reaching out towards you.

“dont touch me, malfoy!” you yelled and everyone froze. “you lost the right to touch me the minute you even thought of touching her” you continued sending both him and pansy a glare with tears threatening to slip from your eyes.

“darling please, i can explain—”

“no draco, we’re done just leave me alone, please” your voice cracking at the end as you pushed past blaise and theo rushing towards the girls dormitory.

Spend my days locked in a haze

Trying to forget you babe

I fall back down

Gotta stay high all my life

To forget I'm missing you

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

it’s been days since you last left your room, days since you last saw draco. daphne would come by and check on you but you’d always dismiss her, wanting to be alone. regret is one word to describe how you’ve been feeling— you gave him everything and he threw it away so carelessly for a quick hook up.

you missed waking up against his smooth skin in his embrace, tracing the lines and scars across his porcelain skin as you waited for him to wake up, the way he’d try to kiss you in the morning without brushing his teeth and you wouldn’t let him because of morning breath— but he’d still do it anyways.

you missed him, but he didn’t want you anymore.

maybe it was something you’ve done, you’ve been quite busy with work recently so you haven’t been spending as much time with him as normal. he was probably lonely and trying to seek the attention you lacked to give him.

getting up, you stared at yourself in the mirror picking yourself apart. you were pretty, it was a well known fact around hogwarts, maybe he thought she was prettier. she was the life of the party and always up for some mischief whereas you preferred to do stuff in silence and would rather be with a small group of people. maybe he liked how exciting she was in comparison to you, she probably brought a spark of excitement to his life that you couldn’t.

dreading to feel something you quickly showered and got ready to leave your room hoping to run into a specific set of twins.

Pick up daddies at the playground

How I spend my daytime

Loosen up the frown,

Make them feel alive

I'll make it fast and greasy

I'm on my way to easy

“well what can we do for you today” fred said to you with a cheeky smile plastered across his face.

“do you have any muggle herb left?” you asked in a low voice making sure no one heard you.

“maybe we do, maybe we don’t” george said. “how much are you offering in exchange though” he continued.

“ten galleons for three ounces, is that enough” you said pulling the galleons out of your pockets and placing them in george’s palm.

“it was a pleasure doing business with you” they said in unison as fred placed the tiny baggie in your pocket so no one would see.

once you returned to your dormitory you quickly pulled out the pre-rolled muggle herb, lit it and let yourself forget.

You're gone and I gotta stay

High all the time

To keep you off my mind

Spend my days locked in a haze

Trying to forget you babe

I fall back down

Gotta stay high all my life

To forget I'm missing you

you started showing up to class late with red tired eyes, not caring about the looks you got. at this point every one knew what had happened but you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

the muggle herb brought you a sense of bliss and freedom, a new feeling you haven’t felt before but something that you now craved.

“are you high right now?” draco said as he sat himself in the seat beside you.

“since when do you care about what i’m doing” you said sharply, not wanting to talk with him.

“love, you don’t smoke. who gave that stuff to you, i’ll kill them—”

“no you won’t.” you said turning towards him. “you won’t do any of that because you don’t own me and i’m not your girlfriend anymore. so mind your business malfoy, i’m sure parkinson’s waiting for you”

the rest of the class you both sat in silence working on potions that draco did most of since you weren’t in the correct mind state and he wasn’t willing to let his mark falter over your slip up.

you find it amazing how even when you’re on drugs he still looks amazing. the way his nose curves perfectly with a slight bump, and the way his hands move with caution as he pours the potion into the waste bucket.

“look, i’m sorry for what happened with pansy. it didn’t mean anything i swear, i don’t know why i did it but i regret it with my life” draco said breaking your thoughts, he looked older than normal and had dark circles underneath his under eyes. you wondered why he looked so distraught when he wasn’t the one who got cheated on.

“a sorry isn’t going to fix this draco” you told him. he knew you were right but he didn’t want to admit it. he hadn’t talked to pansy since the day you walked in on them, the guilt has been eating him up inside. he stayed silent and didn’t bother respond to you, he knew anything he said would have made the situation worst than it already is— but how he wished you were still his sweet y/n.

“now if you excuse me, i have some fun to attend too” you said leaving him alone as you made your way back to your dorm.

Staying in my play pretend

Where the fun, it got no end

Can't go home alone again

Need someone to numb the pain

You're gone and I gotta stay

High all the time

To keep you off my mind

over the last few weeks, you couldn’t remember the last time you were sober. you started skipping classes to smoke and avoiding your friends so they’d stop questioning your habits.

you were forgetting and that’s all that mattered, you didn’t care how it was affecting your health— it made you feel better. sometimes you wished there was another way, another way to forget how he held you at night pressing soft kisses to your skin, another way to forget the way he took pansy the same way he took you. you wonder if he feels as sorry as he looks, he’s the one who cheated so he can’t possibly care that much.

you hear two knocks at your door which quickly break you from your state making you more attentive, cleaning yourself up and opening the door. there stood draco— his eyes red as well, like hes been crying.

“y/n listen, i know what i did was wrong and that i tried to pretend it wasn’t me but please. i didn’t mean too, you mean the world to me. i miss you so much love.” he pleaded with you.

“y’know draco, i miss you too” you admitted. “but i’ve found a way to forget about you, maybe you should do the same”.

Gotta stay high all my life

To forget I'm missing you

-

taglist: @mauvea @teenwolfbitches28 @ilygw @nic0lodean @s1ater @henqtic @justreadingficsdontmindme @i-love-scott-mccall @harmqnia @gwlvr @alishahpotter

[skiyoosmi]

if fate permits

⤷ chapter twenty six: spotlight

prev < masterlist > next

It was no surprise to people who always saw Atsumu that his eyes were constantly filled with a glitter that just managed to shine regardless of whether it was day or night. Volleyball, volleyball, and volleyball - perhaps, if you take time to ask these people what they think is the reason for that glitter, that would be their only answer. To those who truly knew him though, their answer might just be a tad bit different. Sakusa YN - from the moment he met you up to the present, a certain gleam seems to appear whenever you are the center of the topic. At least, that’s what Osamu has observed.

Kiyoomi concluded it’s just him unconsciously being a hopeless romantic for you. The grey haired lad remembers him saying it was pathetic, as always. But then again, he couldn’t deny the truth behind your brother’s words.

That said, he also knows that no one would have expected the same set of bright eyes to dull its sparkle. Unfortunately for the two of them (or three if you count Kiyoomi based on how often he visits the two of them now), you managed to take it away from him. There in the couch where you once sat during movie nights laid Atsumu, staring at the endless nothing, tears occasionally welling up his eyes as he remembers you, the way you looked at him as strangers do - empty, loveless, cautious.

It was karma. No matter how many times he tries to repeat it himself, it just doesn’t ease the thorns that prick his heart every millisecond that passes and every time, he just feels so sorry because he knows you felt the same pain before. How have you managed to get through it for more than twenty years? He has no idea because he sure as hell won’t be able to last one more day with it. Still, he can’t do anything but sit, mull over his self-sabotaged fate.

As he drowns himself deeper into his misery, a series of vigorous knocks disturb the twins’ “peace.” Osamu furrows his eyebrows together, a sense of oddness and urgency coming to him because Kiyoomi doesn’t knock that way - even when it comes to announcing his presence, your brother tries to be as prim and respectful as possible, knocking only thrice before waiting for the door to be opened, another three when he thinks no one heard him from the inside. Hence why the continuous knocks annoyed the grey haired.

Still, he begrudgingly sauntered towards the door and opened it, mouth ready to scold the person in front of him but he got beaten to it, “Where’s Atsumu?”

In her usual get up, Yui stood, a very much obvious fake smile plastered on her face and Osamu wanted nothing but to grab her hair and drag her to the deepest parts of hell for making you suffer (no one gets to do that except for him, he’s the only one who has the ‘drinking buddy and best friend’ privilege’).

Mentally, he took a deep breath before mustering the most sincere smile he can give her (it’s strained and forced, he knows it deep down), “Hello, Yui-san. I don’t think today’s the best day to-”

Before he could finish his sentence, Yui shoved past him and walked inside the house, acting as if she owned it. Osamu watched her trudge her way towards the living room in disbelief, fists clenching so hard it was painful already. Oh dear lord, please… just for today, let me strangle this woman… I’m willing to spend the rest of my life in jail if it means I get to do that for YN.

“Atsumu-kun!” She squeals upon seeing the blonde, ungracefully throwing her whole body to him, much to his shock (and annoyance).

“Y-Yui? What the fuck?” He shoves her away from him and backs up, creating a space which makes Osamu cheer quietly and form a devilish smile. Obviously not expecting the unappreciated response to her actions, she huffs, “You didn’t have to push me that hard, jerk Atsumu! That hurt me!”

“Yui-san…” Atsumu sighed exasperatedly, “I’m not in the mood, okay? Just… just leave, please?”

Yui’s smile disappears from her face and soon, an angry expression replaces it, “You’re such an ungrateful asshole, Miya. I’m busy and here I am, making time for you and you’re telling me to leave? Me?! THE Yui you wanted so much before? How dare y-”

“I didn’t ask you to come here, didn’t I? Just fucking read the room, Yui. I don’t like you here, not right now, not ever. I’m sorry but whatever I thought before, I was wrong. So just fucking leave,” he spat, patience running dry because all he wanted was sulk his life away in the couch.

As if finally being enlightened by the current situation, Yui begins to laugh, “Oh. my. god. Did she finally tell you? Wait… did she actually cut your thread? That’s why you look so miserable right now?”

Atsumu stands up from the couch, disbelief all over his face, “You knew?!”

The girl continues to holler her ugly laugh, “Ah, so hilarious! Of fucking course, Atsumu! One look at her pathetic face and I knew. Hell, I didn’t even need a Moira to figure it out. It was so fun, acting all sweet with the clueless you… and there she is, on the verge of tears every time!”

She wipes the fake tears away from her eyes, “But I guess she got tired too. I mean… you’re just so dumb, Atsumu. So hopeless and so easy to play with,” her fingers trace his jawline, rolling her eyes and snickering when he slapped it away from him.

“Now that I think about it again, you two shouldn’t have played Cinderella. You fit more into the criteria of Sleeping Beauty… you’re like Aurora, was it? But like, without the cure of a kiss because you ruined your true love! That’s my curse for you!”

The blonde grits his teeth, tears uncontrollably falling down his cheeks despite his desperation to stop them. Yui sees it and lets out a fake coo, “Aww, look at you, crying. You must be feeling so guilty, huh? It’s okay, I’m here… I can be the princess you’ve always wanted. You just have to behave like the foolish little prince you are.”

Osamu curses, taking a step forward to drag the girl out of their home but a voice stops him from doing so, “Is it fun? Playing with people’s fates like toys?”

Yui and Atsumu whip their head towards the source of the voice and Osamu is filled with relief upon seeing your brother standing, an unamused look on his face. Clearly liking the attention she was getting, Yui replies, “Ooh, what are you all? Avengers for YN? Protection squad or something? But to answer your question, yes! I’m enjoying it very much… but that doesn’t concern you, does it, Sakusa-kun?”

Kiyoomi paused for a second, removing his shoes and leaving them by the door, walking nearer the two, not too close but just enough to show her his height and intimidate her somehow, “You’re right, it doesn’t. If anything, I’m glad it’s all over now so my sister doesn’t have to suffer in between your acts of foolishness. But for some reason,” he trails off, looking down at her and throwing a look of disgust, “I pity you - because your fate is just as fucked up as theirs - your soulmate doesn’t remember you too and looking at you right now, something is telling me that you regret it too… because you have no one left. No Iwaizumi, no Atsumu.”

Judging by the way she glared at him, Kiyoomi feels a sense of accomplishment for hitting right on the nail.

“You-!”

“How unfortunate, Yui-san… the spotlight is not on you anymore.”

Silence filled the house right after Yui rapidly walked out of the house, a string of curses for your brother flowing out of her mouth. But Kiyoomi couldn’t care any less; instead, he turns to Atsumu who was already looking at him in awe before snapping off his thoughts and mumbling, “Omi… uhm… thank you.”

“I didn’t do it for you,” is the only thing he replies, “I won’t do anything for you...”

Atsumu swallows harshly, the bitter truth making it hard for him to do so, “Right.”

“... at least not anymore after this one,” he finishes, handing the blonde some neatly folded documents. Osamu smiles from where he stood, side-leaning against the doorway leading to the kitchen, as if he already had an idea what the papers were for. His twin’s eyes scan them and as if by a miracle, a familiar glitter appears in them, accompanied by a hopeful expression as he lifts his head and looks at your brother.

“Omi, this…”

“Be ready in three months. I hope you’re not scared of riding planes.”

note. i'm so sorry for the very very long gap between these updates T_T i swear i'll try to update more frequently now, at least school's being less of an ass these days (don't say sike pls)